In August I returned to school as a full time college student. As scared and excited as I was, I learned several things: one - I was not the oldest student in any of my classes; two - I was not the only one who had no clue about the class subjects; and three - I wasn't the only one with a full life who was a full time student. I also learned I was disgustingly impatient.
By September, I had learned more. No, not just in class (hahahaha). I learned that babysitting and school schedules do not mix very well. I had decided to type out all my homework onto my calendar and then thought it would be a great idea to print it out with my babysitting schedule. I figured it would give me a good idea of what I had to do and when I might have time. Yeah, it showed me I only had a little bit of time to study becasue I have a lot of baysitting hours and if I wanted any family or me time, I had to plan very carefully. None of that worked very well. I had to learn how to re-evaluate - fast!
I also have learned that as much as everyone was supportive of me going to school in the beginning stages, that changed once reality hit. With my babysitting schedule on the verge of being too much, I had to change a lot of things that had been in place since the beginning. I finally learned how to say "No" and not feel to badly about it. I really don't think the parents appreciated it too much (and of course I was nice about it). I also think that my family thought I would still have most evenings free to still be around for them. That has not happened. I'm doing school work with every free second I have. Well, at least I'm getting some good grades. But, at what expense? My family is suffering the most by me not being available. Something has to change. But what?
I may learn the answer to that in October. The schedule I printed out looks like my ink cartridge exploded on it. I've already requested that the babysitting parents leave the schedule where it is and if any changes need to be made, I'd only be able to honor time taken off ~ not extra time. I really don't think that made them any happier. It may come down to already knowing the answer and having to put it into action. I'd really hate to do that, but I may have no other choice. School has become one of my top priorities. I really don't think I can let too much stand in my way of succeeding. But what to do? What to do?
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