February 2010 BJP Done

This months BJP started just like last month did.  I got half way done with my piece and hated it!  What's up with this?!  I mean I like it, it's pretty,  but one mistake and it was over.  I didn't even feel like pulling out the stitches and going forward.  This went on for 2 weeks.  It sat and sat.  I hoped and hoped...but no.  I could not pick it up and finish or rip out stitches.  Finally, I'd had enough of staring at the thing and got another square and began again....yesterday.  I just finished it not too long ago.  I think I started on such a heavy emotional meaning to the first piece and it no longer applied, I don't know....This one is lighter and happier I think and that's where I feel like going now.  I even had a blog post for the first attempt, but that too seemed too heavy and depressing.  I guess another lesson has just been learned ~ don't write the blog post before the piece is done...I must've had to get it out of my system.

This one is also slightly emotional.  Matters of the heart usually are, aren't they?  I started out the month with a heavy heart, kinda ripped apart feeling.  I realized once again, it's MY fault that happens.

Anyhow, after finally deciding to not torture myself any further, I decided to start this piece.  And here is why.....

A heart is fragile (the glass pieces ~ 2 circles and a square turned diamond shape to form a heart).  When it gets hurt/broken, we try to repair it (the beads over where the glass does not match up ~ like a band-aid).  We try to put a wall up sometimes too, to protect it from further/future damage (the attempted "cab" beading around the heart).  Sometimes we leave up our "wall" to save ourselves from being hurt over and over.  Hopefully, after a while, we can let pieces of that "wall" fall away, to once again trust (the rings of beads around the heart where the "wall" doesn't seem to look all that great, and the beads in the background)  Hopefully this time we let that "wall" weaken or fall with the knowledge of what has happened before. We find the strength from learning from the pains of the past and vowing to ourselves not to let those things happen again (the good part of the "wall"~ LOL). 

I didn't mean for this to sound "heavy" emotionally. This is ceratinly not the first time I've gone through these feelings and I'm sure it won't be the last. Like my piece, my walls are weak, they break easily and fall. Someday I think I'll learn my lesson, but then again....maybe not.

On a lighter note....I beaded this on a sleeve of a Hot Pink T-shirt I had laying around.  This signifies the fact that I WISH it were warmer already.  I am sooooo ready for Spring and Summer here.  We get teased too much this time of year by Mother Nature with a few warmer days and we think the weather will break and it'll get warm.  Then it doesn't.  Hopefully, soon it'll get nice and sunny and warmer...

Well, ENJOY!